14 Dec The perfect gift for any woman
A while ago I had a conversation with a friend about the perfect gift for a woman. He said that women shouldn’t ever have to buy their own flowers, jewellery or lingerie.
I laughed. A real authentic belly shaking laugh.
I do my best to keep an open mind and recognize that everyone has their own opinions based on their experiences and/or conditioning. I just didn’t agree with this philosophy. At. All. My life experiences have conditioned a totally different opinion than that of my friends’.
I’d like to share my response to his statement. If nothing else, you may find my way of thinking interesting (insert comical) from a conditioned woman that buys herself gifts. Don’t get me wrong, I love being pampered and getting treated with like a princess too, but there are much easier and less expensive ways to get to my heart and show you me that you care.
My response was:
“Perhaps you can save your money and spend your time on creating experiences with your special woman, rather than buying her more things.”
Here’s the overview of why these things don’t work for me:
They just end up dying. If they’re bought as an apology, they’re likely a silly reminder of a negative experience. And what if you receive a bouquet of flowers that you don’t like? Yes, there are girls like that. I happen to be one of them. I cover the truth with a smile and say, please don’t EVER send me roses. Tulips, hydrangeas and gladiolas are all great in my world, but a plant or a couple of bamboo shoots will last much longer. I feel sad when I toss dead flowers out after a week. With a longer life from plants, the reminder of who bought them gets extended too. Okay, I realize I’ve replaced romance with value here, but if you really want to surprise a gal, make a beautiful nutritious healthy meal instead. Pair it with some candlelight and groovy music then spend some quality time with her. You’ll crack open her heart and her vault. Save your flower money, go pick some wild ones and use that money to buy good quality organic food and/or a great bottle of wine instead. You’ll be sure to have a night to remember.
If you’re going to buy flowers, know what your lady likes and more importantly what she may NOT like. And for the love of all plants and women, do not EVER buy flowers (0r anything else for that matter) to apologize for ANYTHING. Instead, have a heart to heart talk and let her know that you are truly sorry, why you are and commit to it never happening again.
On to jewellery
If you’re going to spend a lot of money on something to symbolize your love, affection or to let her know that you’re thinking of her, it might be worthwhile to know (I mean to really KNOW) what she likes. Or take her with you. Pick something together that she really does like, will cherish and will wear with pride. Or it will end up never seeing the light of day stashed in her jewellery box or worse, she’ll wear it begrudgingly out of obligation. Personally, I’m a little eclectic. I love one of a kind things. I’m not a brand label kind of girl. I love to support local artisans. Their distinct talent’s, the mediums that they use and their creativity just WOW me. I’d rather have 10 unique things that I spent a little money on knowing that I helped an entrepreneur make a living than have one expensive brand label item where profits go to a big company with a rich celebrity owner or a swanky board of directors. But hey, that’s just me.
Your love is not measured by how much money you spend on a gift or if it glitters. Women feel how much they mean to you when you truly understand them, who they are and when you know their style.
A slippery topic! I personally think this is one of the hardest gifts to buy for someone else. Does anyone else know what truly makes someone else feel sexy? What will fit that uniquely shaped body? What will highlight someone’s style and personality? The person buying the lingerie may think they’d love to see their gal in that little number. That she’d be smoking hot in it. While that may be true, will she feel comfortable, confident and sexy in it? Will it fit all of her curves or lack of them in the right places? On the receiving side, if you get something that’s too big, you think “Hey, I’m not that big! A-hole!” or if it’s too small “You’re an A-hole for making me feel fat. I don’t fit into what you bought me.” See how hard the lingerie game is? There’s a small chance that the buyer might get it right and if they do, they’re likely in the lingerie business, a personal stylist or just damn lucky.
The sexiest thing on any woman is her confidence. While a silky little number or tiny pieces of fabric might turn up the heat in the bedroom, your girl really needs to feel confident and secure in her own skin to feel sexy. You just can’t buy confidence or an attitude. If you want to help your girl look sexy, tell her how beautiful she is, inside and out. Besides, the lingerie will just come off any way. Confidence will rock on all night long!
To sum it up
- The best gifts you can buy for a woman do not need to be expensive
- In fact they don’t even have to be things
- Just knowing that they’re thought of is often far more impressive and meaningful to a woman
- Creating memories and sharing experiences is really what all woman like
As long as you’re not an A-hole, you can’t go wrong with these guidelines.
The best gift of all…
The gift that all women long for is spending quality time together; talking and/or doing something with YOU (the one that is important to her), sans phone. Where your attention and presence are directed to the moment and to her.
You can wrap it if you like, but it’s really not necessary.
The whole point of sharing of this conversation is a reminder that we do NOT need to buy things to express our feelings or love for another.
Showing how much you care can easily be done just by being totally present with the one you care about.
Attention and presence are simple things that are often skimmed over or forgotten about today, in a world filled with so much exterior stimulus and noise.
Buying things for one another cannot replace the one thing that cannot be bought… TIME with one another, where all parties are completely present and in the moment.
I’m not suggesting to stop buying gifts for your loved ones. I am suggesting that you already have the gift that is most valuable to another. That is YOU!
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